You Changed Your Mind

It's Over

My mind is clear today, I have no more questions, and I have no more doubts. I let myself say and feel it all. To the point where I think you didn't like it. I noticed. You changed your mind mid way in our conversation.

Do you want to be friends? A friend is someone you care for, ask about their day, their feelings. We can't even be that. It's not what you want. It's not even something you could do these past days. So why tell me otherwise? All this time i respected that and asked for nothing. But I want to be more than friends, I know you are scared of committing. I noticed. You told me all the time. Too many times. How could I feel freely in fear of driving you away?

We can't be together because of desire. I don't wish to take all our moments back. But I do wish you could see past it. Can we start fresh? I don't think it's an option.

How can two people that care for each other not be together because of such a small thing. Not small because it's not important. What makes it small is where it's coming from, you don't need to cross an ocean or fight an army. Can you imagime how many loves never came to be during history because of war, family, money, geography, and so much more. Our obstacle was small.

I don't feel like it was fair to let me go. What makes me different? Will you ever love anyone?

My only explanation is, your feelings were never strong enough. And the idea will help me forget.

I'm glad I cried all my tears the days before our final conversation. I cried them all. These past days i assumed the worst. And you calmed my mind by saying I shouldn't have assumed, but then you changed yours. I noticed. Still, I'm glad you never saw me cry.

I'm aware my words might make no sense, like most of our conversations. But I will leave them as is.

I'll take the happy moments and try to forget what could have been. I'm no wonderwoman. I feel strongly, and that makes me vulnerable. I'm not powerful. I just let go. I'm letting go.

Where is my happiness?

Quedó como un amor de colegio